PhoenicianDream's Journal
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8 entries this month
fuuuuuuuuuuuuck17:07 Sep 30 2007
Times Read: 1,147
For the love of goth. The next time I'm at a bar and I eagerly announce "I'll drink all of the shots that no one else wants!" Somebody... anybody fucking talk me out of it.
5 Shots of tequila, 1 shot of hot damn, 4 long island iced teas, and 1 horrible fucking rum and coke later.... I feel like hell.
I'm sure the 3 hours of sleep, my lack of eating yesterday, and the fact that I've been sick for over a week now added to it.
Oy
I'm not down with the sickness..05:10 Sep 25 2007
Times Read: 1,169
I have the fucking plague.
My throat hurts, my ears hurt, my head hurts, I'm congested. I'm starting to get body aches and I can't decide wether I'm hot or cold.
I feel like overall shit. =/
I'm going to bed now.. I'll probably crawl out when this goes away.
05:54 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 1,180
Where was the line crossed where honest mistakes are no longer just honest mistakes?
That the dumbest of miscommunications could be viewed as conspiracies and plots.
Why is something so simply stupid, so wrong?
How can one be so hurt over intention and malice that was not there?
Is it a fear of the unknown?
Is it a fear of that which would never happen, even if you believe it is so?
How does one right an unintentional wrong?
So much for innocent mistakes.
Guilty as found by peers, evidence not withstanding.
=/
Stupidity
07:48 Sep 22 2007
Times Read: 1,199
Stupidity is to:
Trust whom you've been warned not to.
Rely on someone to keep their word.
Allow ones self to depend on others.
Believe that patterns will change.
Think that you can help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Allow ones self to be used.
Believe that someone selfish could care about, or think of anyone but theirself.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Expect others not to lie.
Want to be happy.
=/21:23 Sep 19 2007
Times Read: 1,206
I'm not doing so good right now.
Evolutionary Hindrances
07:08 Sep 18 2007
Times Read: 1,221
Some things will never change...
and some people will never evolve.
If you can't see past your own selfishness and conceit, you will never learn, never grow, and never find happiness and peace.
03:23 Sep 08 2007
Times Read: 1,234
I am alone.
I have chosen to be so, though sometimes it is not without regret.
A hint, a whisper, a something. Anything? Though it was nothing. Just a stolen moment in time. Nothing more than a mere memory.
I will always be alone. It sends a pang through my soul. A flash of bright white and heat searing my very core.
I'm hurt and scared and alone in the dark. Much like a small child. I await a light in my darkness, but my waiting is in vain.
A comparison of a firey volcano and a summer rain. Don't you see when such comparisons are made no one is to win?
The stars in the sky and the cool autumn breeze hold no peace for me. Peace is not to be found for those such as I.
A friend is to leave me lost for years. perhaps forever. I fear I will never speak to him again.. and my heart bleeds at the notion.
Missing souls, lost bits and pieces scattered through time. Shards strewn about bending and reflecting a hint of what was. A soul that was once whole.
17:38 Sep 03 2007
Times Read: 1,248
I feel the need to vent.
To scream, to cry, anything.
With everything I've been through in the last year my body has built a response to numb myself from doing so.
I can't get it out... it's not helping. With things going the way they are it's just getting progressively worse.
Maybe I just need to go away for a while...
I dunno.
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